What’s your history with rugby? How did you first hear about it and what made you want to join?
I am British, born and raised, and grew up in a rugby family. My uncle played for Harlequins before the pro era, one of my other uncles and my stepdad both played, and my brother played through high school before deciding that football (soccer) was more his pace. To my knowledge, though, I am the first woman in my family to play!
What moves you about playing the sport / being part of the community?
I did briefly play minis when I was 7 or 8, but kept having an asthma attack at half time...I didn't come back to the sport until a year ago, after I turned 40. My husband had moved to Maryland for work and I knew I was going to have to get out there and get a life while he was gone otherwise I'd just sit home alone talking to my dogs! I had talked to my local team, Norfolk Storm, at Pride events several times in the previous few years but it took me a while to get up the nerve to go to a practice. I am so glad I did. Rugby pushes me to do things that I might not automatically be good at (which as a perfectionist is hard!), and work to improve and get better. It has taught me resilience (physical and mental) and how to be a better teammate on and off the pitch. Most of all, it has given me deep friendships that I know will follow me for years to come.
What’s one stereotype about rugby players - that you’ve had to personally face or otherwise - that you really hate?
That, as a womxn playing, you must be butch or masculine. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but there is also nothing wrong with embracing your femininity if that is what you want to do. It has been frustrating to see the flak some of the players at the Women's Rugby World Cup have received online for wearing ribbons or glitter or lip gloss when they play, as if that somehow makes them less likely to hit hard or run fast. I love wearing glitter and ribbons when I play, because it's an occasion and exciting. Everyone belongs in rugby, exactly as they are.
How has rugby impacted your life?
Rugby has given me a new passion and a whole community to belong to. It's hard to understate how important that has been to me, even in only a year. I sometimes get self-conscious about my age - to be fair, there's plenty of people who still play at 40, but not many who start playing at 40! - but literally nobody cares so long as I show up to practice and do my best. I spent pretty much all of my childhood and early teens being told I couldn't do team sport either because of my asthma or because I was just rubbish, but I am proud of myself for trying something new and discovering that there is a place for me in team sport after all.
If you could tell your younger self one thing as the rugby player you are today, what would it be?
You do NOT have to be perfect, it is OK to make mistakes, and it is ok to not be the best player on the field. Just do your best and keep working on improving. And START NOW - don't wait to do this!
Is there a person or moment in your rugby career that has been particularly impactful to your rugby career or to your life in general?
It's only tangentially rugby related, but when I moved from Virginia to Maryland in April, I had just sprained my ankle in the last match of the season and still had a lot of work to do around my house to get it ready to sell. My teammates all rallied round to help me out, whether it was helping with painting, remulching my flower beds, burning up leftover packaging in the redneck firepit my husband put together (!), or just sitting with me for a beer to destress. That showed the true friendships I had made through rugby.
Is there anything else you’d like to share about your experiences playing rugby or being a part of the community?
One more thing - it's really FUN :)
Support club rugby! You can find Jess on Instagram @thatjessjay or catch her playing with her home team, Frederick Women's Rugby. If you want to watch a match or are in the area and interested in joining, find Frederick on Instagram @frederickwrugby.